Apparently All We Needed Was A Robot

aka Parenting by Bribery.*

So you might recall a few months ago, I posted about my Kid’s refusal to potty train. Flat out refusal. Flat out refusal to acknowledge bodily functions. It was such that you could clearly see he was dropping a load in his nappy (straining with a red face) and you could ask him “Kid, are you making a poo?” And he’d answer you (in a strained voice, sounding all indignant at the same time) “no, mommy”.

He refused a Wee-Man. He refused a toilet seat. He refused a dog-shaped potty that sings (I know, I would too so I don’t blame him – who wants to sit on a singing toilet, right?).

Even the daymother – who, by the way, can get my child to eat BROCOLLI – could not persuade him to MAKE IN THE FUCKING POTTY, PLEASE. I eventually gave up. Relying on the assurances from other parents (with children who wore UNDERPANTS instead of nappies) that it will just happen. One day my child should have (apparently) come to me and just decided that he’s made up his mind, and he no longer wants to wear nappies. Apparently he would decide that because he no longer wanted nappies, that in order to attain underpants status, he’d have to use the potty.

ONE FATAL FLAW IN THIS PLAN. It was the nappies that The Kid was clinging to. That was why he didn’t want to learn to use the potty, because it meant that nappies would go away, and he quite likes his nappy.

So a few weeks ago, The Boyfriend hits on this genuis plan. Decides that we have to buy The Kid THE ULTIMATE TOY to put on top of the fridge and bribe him with. Have a shit in the potty, and that fuckoff massive robot is yours, my son – that kind of thing. I rolled my eyes, thinking that this was stupid, there was no toy in the world that he could possibly want, that he didn’t have already.

Until we were out at Toys R Us the other day, and I spotted the most massive robot in the world. Practically the same height as The Kid himself – this beast has a sword and a gun and a laser and yells “ENEMY DETECTED.” {PEW PEW PEW} and then “TARGET DESTROYED” and it spins and it walks and and and and….it was perfect.

Needless to say it sat on top of the fridge for less than 48 hours before The Kid told me in the car on the way home that he needed to make a poo and he wanted to make a poo in the potty. We rushed home, threw ourselves out the car, flung ourselves into the bathroom and ripped off the nappy and pants.

My Kid calmly took a crap, for the first time EVER and entirely without complaint, in his potty. And then he waited patiently while I put a clean nappy on him and then took him into the kitchen to unbox his robot. He didn’t whine or nag for the robot, he didn’t make a sound. Just a small squeal as I handed over that robot.

That red, plastic hundred-buck robot did the trick. Got him over the biggest hurdle on the road toward underpants. It also replaced his teddy bear as sleeping toy of choice, and sleeps next to him, on its own pillow. Yes, it’s that special.

And so I came to the realisation. With kids, there’s nothing that can’t be done or achieved – as long as you’re willing to pay the price or find the right carrot to dangle before their eyes.

In our case, the carrot just happened to be a big shiny robot, with a small price.

As for what happens next, in this potty training stage, I have no idea. I’m just taking it as it comes and hoping that it will end in a pair of (dry and clean) Ben 10 undies.

One step at a time.

* I will take a picture of the blasted robot when I get home, my camera battery was flat yesterday.

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13 Responses to Apparently All We Needed Was A Robot

  1. MeganTS says:

    I resorted to bribery after The Hurricane reached 3 without showing the slightest inclination to use the toilet. best thing i ever did.

    well done, The Kid!
    .-= MeganTS´s last blog ..getting older =-.

  2. blackhuff says:

    I also found that with some things I have to find the right carrot to dangle in front of them with, other things just have to happen when they are ready.
    .-= blackhuff´s last blog ..Thankful for … =-.

  3. mommanats says:

    Fuck yeah!

  4. I have on fully trained boy and one that can not give a continental about the whole issue. Maybe I should try it too.
    .-= cat@juggling act´s last blog ..Delight! =-.

  5. Boobah's Mom says:

    For The Kid:

    Congratulations Kid! You’re one step closer to becoming a fully-fledged big boy!

    Remember to tell you mom she’s awesome! And tell her often! Mommies like that (and that also makes them buy you even more stuff 😉 )

    But you’ll see, underpants are teh BOMB!! No more walking around with a stinky bum. AND, once you get the hang of it, you can even pull it up yourself! Yes, like a big boy! Also, there’s way cooler pictures on underpants than you’ll ever get on a nappy – Mommy’s right, have you ever seen nappies with robots or Ben 10 on them? Or even dinosaur nappies? I bet you haven’t, but I promise you get underpants like that.

    Keep up the great work, Kid!

    Love,
    Boobahsmom
    .-= Boobah’s Mom´s last blog ..Ten for Thursday… =-.

  6. Wenchy says:

    My Victoria was fabulous. By 2 she was potty trained… great.. her brothers on the other end, by 4 I still had issues!!!

  7. MeeA says:

    Nothing like a bit of bribery & corruption to make shit happen. 🙂

    I say if it works, go for it. I’m a bit worried about the potty training ahead of me. Megan took forever to get off the nappies and Michael just whipped off his nappy one day and went to the toilet, without us even having brought up the subject or bought him a potty…

    I have no idea what to expect from Jack & James, but thankfully there’s still some time. And if all else fails, I now know that bribery is king! ;P
    .-= MeeA´s last blog ..Five & Five =-.

  8. Louisa says:

    Yay! Keeping my fingers crossed for you that this ends in some Ben10 undies soon. 🙂
    .-= Louisa´s last blog ..Girl, unpinned’s meme… =-.

  9. Bobbi Janay says:

    Girl I agree, that the right carrot can accomplish anything and not just with kids.
    .-= Bobbi Janay´s last blog ..Home Routine =-.

  10. Bribery is the only thing that works for toilet training. Connor’s robot was the promise of another Bakugan.
    .-= Jeanette Verster´s last blog ..166/365 – Walking the dogs =-.

  11. Briget says:

    Andd??? Is he using the potty now?
    Or is he holding any future dumps hostage till you buy the matching kickass Torpedo launcher??

    HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!
    .-= Briget´s last blog ..Day of Fathers.. =-.

  12. Angel says:

    Its certainly progress even if it is at a small price!!
    😀
    .-= Angel´s last blog ..I Am Going To Be Self-Employed! =-.

  13. daisy says:

    HAHAHA! I love that you added the sound effect [pew pew pew] 🙂

    Congrats that he made it to the potty!!
    .-= daisy´s last blog ..Workout Season yeah I’m a little- no wait … BIG behind … =-.

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