On How It Was Supposed To Be Easier Than This

Nothing can ever be easy. Nothing can ever just work the way it’s supposed to. You know – meet guy, fall in love, get married, buy a house and then have babies together. No. I met the guy, fell in love, had the baby (currently in the process of incubating the second) and have still not managed to get married or buy that house.

We should have been married last July. But then there was the possibility of buying that house. That house that ended in disappointment. Then once I was barely over that house, I discovered I was pregnant. Then getting married wasn’t such a priority – finding another house was. Then we thought we’d found one. We’d gone so far as to get bond approval and we had a move-in date and everything looked like it was – for once – going to work out.

Silly me – that I should think that things would work out and be simple. We’re supposed to move in to our new house, in eight days time – but we won’t be. The current tenants, who are supposed to be out on the 28th of this month, don’t look like they’re going anywhere. Apparently they’re blacklisted, can’t get credit, haven’t paid their rent in months – so why should they bother moving out of the house that they can’t get kicked out of?

I keep hoping that they’re going to move out. That somehow it will work out, and that in seven days time that house will be empty and we will have somewhere to put our new baby. That we will have a room for a nursery and a place to put a crib, rocking chair and baby decorations. A room that we can make so that it looks like Pinterest threw up all over it. But we don’t. And we probably won’t. Because that would be too simple. And that would be too easy.

Instead. We won’t have made any progress at all. We’ll still be unmarried. We still won’t have bought a new house. The only thing that will be different is that the house that we’re currently in, won’t be big enough for us, anymore. There will be no pretty, restful new-baby nursery. As shallow as it sounds – and yes, I know, complaining that my second child won’t have a room of his own when he comes home from the hospital is shallow – I can’t help but feeling distress and despair. For once, I just wanted things to go right. For once, I just wanted things to happen the way they were supposed to.

Waiting until the 28th to see what happens with the tenants (and ultimately our house)Ā  is draining me.It’s the Not Knowing that’s the worst. It’s penetrated every aspect of my life, and right now I’m just on auto-pilot. Work, sleep, make lunch/dinner/do homework/bath/get dressed/drive to work/sleep. I’m not interested in baby things. I’m not interested in getting excited about, or enjoying this pregnancy. I’m not interested in planning a nursery and Pinning All The Baby-Related Things.Ā  I don’t want to. All of it it seems insignificant in the face of Not Knowing.

I can’t wait for it all to be over, but at the same time, I just want to keep denying that any of it is happening. It has consumed every little part of me, and it feels like it’s been dragging on forever. And the next week of holding my breath and waiting to find out, will drag on forever, too.

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9 Responses to On How It Was Supposed To Be Easier Than This

  1. Oh Exmi, I hear you – how totally frustrating, unfulfilling and disappointing.

    Here’s hoping for a miracle, just or you.
    cat@jugglingact´s last blog post ..Just doing the best you can

  2. phillygirl says:

    How frustrating šŸ™ *hug*
    I suppose you have to wait for the transfer to go thru before you can do something like go in and change the locks? There must be some kind of legal something or other in a situation like this. The previous owner’s tenants surely can’t stop the new owners from doing whatever they want with the house as they don’t have any agreement with you … I hope you get this all sorted soon soon!
    phillygirl´s last blog post ..The Daily Spoils

  3. Jeanette says:

    ((hugs))
    Hoping that a miracle happens and you get to move into your house soon

  4. Kittiegurl says:

    Can you not take a swing past Edenvale Police Station/Courts and get a prosecutor to write you up an eviction letter!? Aren’t they your tenants now, seeing as you are the, albeit new, owners of the house?
    I know it’s been done before for tenants refusing to leave. Worth a shot me thinks.
    Good luck though… Hope you can get into your new house soon šŸ™‚

  5. SheBee says:

    *heart squeeze*
    xoxox

  6. Po says:

    What a nightmare, can they not be evicted?

  7. Elly says:

    Oh lady! That sounds like an impossible place to be – I’m so confused as to why they’re still there! Who does that? Fingers crossed it all goes to plan, and if not, that the solution is relatively swift and painless. Happy thoughts, hey šŸ™‚
    Elly´s last blog post ..Dan Deacon (on Valentines)

  8. Angel says:

    That sucks so bad. šŸ™

  9. Bobbi says:

    Hugs, I hope it all works out.
    Bobbi´s last blog post ..Favorite Things

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