You might have been wondering why I have so much time on my hands lately. You might even have noticed I spend a bit more time these days using Twitter and blogging. I’ve even had time to join the public library, read a few books and potter around in my garden.
I’ve had time to do things for me, but more importantly – I’ve had time to do things with my Kid. Why do I suddenly have so much time on my hands? You might remember I resigned from my job about a month and a half ago – but since most people don’t actually know what my job was (I never really blogged much about it) you probably don’t really even know what that resignation meant.
Not only did it mean that I was no longer required to write for the print magazine(s), and various other publications that the company was involved in – but it also meant that I was no longer required to write for/edit/manage GirlGuides, either. A decision was taken by the rest of the GirlGuides team to keep the management of the project in-house and I was asked to step away from that project, too.
A decision which suited me perfectly – as it afforded me the time to have the little mini-break I needed and was forced into having when The Kid got sick. Having a sick child has made me realise that I also needed to take things a lot slower, myself and stop trying to do everything for everyone all of the time. I’m a people-pleaser, a procrastinator and a perfectionist – not a good combination for the formal working world.
Most importantly – time on my hands given me the time to reassess my priorities, and it’s lead to some very important realisations that I needed to make, as a mother. My child is my number one priority, and anything that distracts my attention from him for too long, is not what I want. I need to focus on pleasing myself and my family.
As someone suggested to me, I spent some time considering my actions, weighing up all my options and working through all the possible outcomes of the various decisions that I might make. I’ve spent time with my Boyfriend discussing our future, planning our next steps and deciding how we’re going to make this thing work – together.
And I’ve come to realise one simple fact: you’re the only person that can follow your dreams; no one else can do it for you. As cliched and overused as it may sound – it’s bloody true. It also made me realise that my dream is not to be a trailblazing constitutional law advocate, nor is it to be editor of a publication that I don’t own. It’s not to be a novelist (circa 2008) and nor is it be a chef (briefly at 14) nor a human rights activist (briefly in first year varsity). My dream is to be the best mother and wife, that I can be – whilst still making myself happy and being true to my values and what I aspire to create and to be.
And part of that making myself happy and part of what I aspire to create and to be – involves Body Thrills. Something that started out as me making gifts for friends has such huge potential and there are many amazing opportunities and avenues I can explore, if I have the time and the inclination. Which, of course, I now do.
This has lead to the decision that Body Thrills will (finally) be properly launched within the next month. The awesome team at The Forge, have built us a shopping cart, and we’re working tirelessly to fill it, so that we can launch the site. We’ve been featured in a few magazines recently (will blog about that soon, on Body Thrills) and we’re supplying a gorgeous little organic deli in Port Alfred with our products. We’re in discussions with a few salons and specialty skincare stores to start stocking there soon too. At the moment, we’re being very careful where we send our product to, as we want to retain some of that exclusivity that comes with not being available in supermarkets and discount pharmacies.
We’ve been filling gift bags for parties and conferences and indulging in birthday presents and gift packs and planting herbs and doing a lot of experimentation. We’re currently converting one of the rooms in our house, into a space where I can have a Body Thrills production studio going – a space to create. Which we’ve been doing a lot of lately – my mother and I – and the result has been pure indulgent bliss. I’ve got an exciting collection of people put together, to help me – it turns out that I know lots of very useful and very willing people.
And so, it turns out that all this time on my hands is exactly what I needed to give me the kick in the pants to actually pursue my dream. Incredibly excited (and unbelievably blessed) doesn’t even begin to cover it right now.