On Dieticians and Dieting

So The Boyfriend and I have been to see a dietician. You know, just to get back on track in terms of healthy eating, shed a few kilos that just happened to pile on during the festive season and seemed never to have left. I blame all that tequila and my awesome drunken cooking.

Our dietician is lovely. A skinny little chick who is basically the poster girl for dieting. Thin little arms, barely any boobs. She’s given us an eating plan. She spent an hour or so going through it with us, and discussing menu options and good foods and bad foods. Basically telling us nothing we didn’t already know. But, the monthly check ups and weigh-ins should be incentive enough to try do some healthy eating.

After our appointment with her, The Boyfriend and I are walking to the car and he says: “Jesus, I hope that being on a diet won’t make my breath smell as bad as that chick.”

I snort with laughter, we get in the car and he’s still carrying on about our dietician’s halitosis.

“It’s like her stomach has tasted the diet food she’s put in it and said ‘fuck you’ and died andย  is now trying to claw it’s way out of her body through her mouth. Fuck man, it smells like she’s rotting from the inside out. This diet thing is going to be terrible, isn’t it?”

I snigger and silently agree with him.

We go home. I make us a lovely nutritious dinner of steamed sweet potato, baby marrow and grilled chicken with a bean sprout salad. It doesn’t taste too bad. I prepare our breakfast and lunch for the next day (fruit salad and chicken & rice salad).

I keep telling myself this is not going to be bad. The food I’ve made so far on the diet hasn’t been a drastic change from what we normally eat. It just doesn’t have as much cheese and as much pasta as I would like. I persuade myself that this is a good thing.

We marvel at how much healthier we’re going to be and how much money we’re going to save because we wont be going out for dinner/having takeaways/buying ice-creams/buying sweeties as much.

We keep convincing ourselves that we can be strong and do this.

Day two (proper) into the diet, I’m sitting at work, eating my rice and chicken salad (with sweet potato, danish feta, carrots and bean sprouts) and I put down my fork, pick up my car keys.

I head to McDonalds and buy myself a chicken burger and wolf it down in about 2.5 seconds. I don’t even like McDonalds. I dont even like chicken burgers.

So why did I do it? Mostly because I knew I shouldn’t. Tell me I shouldn’t do something, or that I can’t do something, and it’s all I can think about.

So yeah. Here I am. Once again.

Convincing myself that this diet thing is going to be GREAT. Sigh.

Any dieting words of wisdom for me?

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12 Responses to On Dieticians and Dieting

  1. My best diet advice is…
    1. If no-one saw you eat it, you didn’t!
    2. If you drink a glass of water after eating something ‘naughty’, the water cancels out the naughtiness!
    3. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

  2. sleepyjane says:

    Dude, I’ve never been on a proper diet in my life so i can’t really give advise without sounding like I’m pulling it from my ass (which is what I would be doing). lol

    Maybe don’t think of it as a diet, think of it as healthy eating. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    .-= sleepyjane´s last blog ..Alice in Wonderland =-.

  3. Angel says:

    I feel your pain… I was so determined to lose weight for our wedding and I am getting nowhere!
    .-= Angel ´s last blog ..Today Is The Awesome =-.

  4. Bobbi Janay says:

    I understand, that thought process.
    .-= Bobbi Janay´s last blog ..Thankful Through The Darkness =-.

  5. flarkus says:

    It’s a mind game (just like most healthy activities). Once you find the foods that don’t send you running for the McD’s, and get into the swing of eating healthier foods more often, it’ll get easier. You simply need to try and keep aware of the benefits that a good diet have on your overall health (not simply the waistline) and you’ll be able to keep to the eating plan

  6. Jeanette says:

    LOL afraid I’ve got no advice, cos I’m too chicken to even try diet ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= Jeanette´s last blog ..68/365 โ€“ Just for him =-.

  7. Tara says:

    Talk to Richard chicken, that boy is on one hell of a plan and he’s being my food nazi and acting disappointed everytime I tell him that I caved and had chips. He’s even threatened to drag me out for a hike.

  8. mommanats says:

    If somebody says the word diet all i hear is DIE.

    I love food and I love the taste of food and the good company that goes with food – why give it up. I’d much rather just excercise harder (or start in your case) than give up the food I adore!
    .-= mommanats´s last blog ..Separated by a fart =-.

  9. Twistygirl says:

    Good luck with your diet. I don’t really have any advice but I am on day 4 of my diet and so far so good. The only reason why I think I’m doing so good is that I found a diet with a lot of my favourite foods on and I am not starving myself.
    .-= Twistygirl´s last blog ..Venting, because I absolutely have to =-.

  10. Fightycat says:

    Exercise, exercise, exercise!

    If you want to loose weight without cutting down on the calories you’re gonna have to burn them off at the gym I’m afraid!

  11. cassey says:

    I’ve got 3 things that help with the bad food cravings: when I want chocolate or something sweet I find that sugar free gum helps a lot, I keep a lot, and I mean a lot, of low fat yoghurt and my fav fruits in the fridge. When that and a ton of water doesn’t help, then I have the smallest choc I can get. ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= cassey´s last blog ..Today, was not a good day =-.

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