There’s just so much about this Kid that makes me grateful that I’m his mother. There’s the fact that he’s exactly like me. He’ll pretend to listen to what you have to say, and then he’ll do what-the-fuck-he-pleases anyway. Although this is completely frustrating, I admire his spirit. His un-crushable need to do as he pleases, and to please himself. It means he wont spend his life trying to please others.
There’s the fact that he’d rather ask for forgiveness, than permission. That shows up in the way he says: “sorry about your make-up, mommy.” as he gouges his fingernail through my eyeshadow palette. “Sorry about your tv, daddy.” As he smears his lollipop-sticky fingers across the surface of the new tv. I know that this is going to get him into a lot of trouble (as it did me) but I can’t help admire his courage.
There’s the fact that, at two years of age, he’s already a practiced smooth-talker and charmer. “I didn’t mean it, mommy. It was an accident. I love you mommy. You’re such a beautiful lady. Let me give you a big squeeze and a kiss.” It’s so hard to stay mad when that Kid is smothering you with love and affection.
There’s the fact that he refuses help, and will only do things in his own time. He will not let anyone help him brush his teeth, climb in and out of the bath or get in and out of his car seat. These are things he does by himself. He’s fiercely independent. All with only two years of life experience. The fact that he climbed the ladder of the really-tall slide at the park, and slides down, head first, yelling “to infinity and beyond” makes me laugh with delight.
There’s so much about this Kid that makes me grateful to be his mother. Despite the chocolate-ice-cream smears on the inside of my backseat window (that has now dried and looks a bit like blood). Despite the frustration and the exercises in patience and the sheer force of will I’ve had to exert to not be shouty all of the time.
There’s so much that fills my mama-heart with love. But mostly all I need is this:
“I’m blowing you kisses, mommy. Can you catch them?”